Monday, October 24, 2011

Thoughts of a journey

I feel like I've been crying almost every day for a while. Not tears of sadness always. Tears of joy, thankfulness, wonder, gratitude, but also sadness. Feeling a fraction of the weight of the sacrifice that Jesus made for us. He took all of our sin, shame, and guilt. To give us freedom. The holy spirit is softening my heart. It's amazing what God does when you spend time seeking him. I wouldn't trade my relationship with him for anything! Just last year I was at a point where I realized that something wasn't connecting. It seems like a theme in my life has been trusting my mind  and my own understanding more than trusting God. I worked for years at trying to be righteous, trying to make myself a better person. I realized in may, I think, that I was focussing on trying to make myself worthy of God's love. It makes me feel kind of dumb to think that I didn't see it before...but that also brings me back to a place of being prideful in my intellect and ability to think and know things. : p I didn't realize that I was doing it to try to  make myself worthy of God's love. For a long time I felt like I was unlikeable. Unlovable. Not for lack of loving influences in my life, but I disliked myself, and because of that I  couldn't accept that God loved me unconditionally. Praise God for the healing that he's done in my life, that I I've been able to learn to love myself and others more!

A real relationship with Jesus will change your life! If you have a relationship with him and you feel like it's not changing how you act from day to day. I challenge you to invest more into that relationship! Think about your friends, if you don't spend time with them what happens to the relationship? It fades away. Learn to love like Jesus. It changes lives, not just yours, but everyone who you share that love with!

1 comment:

  1. You are wonderful! I love reading your updates and am so incredibly happy for what God is doing in your life. It honestly brings me to tears. Praise God for His challenges and grace!

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